Sangam Diaspora

Eharmony.com, Chemistry.com, Match.com and now presenting Shaadi.com for all those unlucky in love Indians. While casually reading a friend’s facebook profile one day I stumbled upon this website, shaadi.com. My first thought was that my friend had made the website up as a joke, but then upon further examination and a click I was soon taken to a land of matrimony and astrological charts. So, what did I do next? Of course I made a profile, actually two. To prevent actually getting inadvertently engaged, or having stalkers come after me I used fake information.

Both girls, iliketodandiawithyou and ani51, are 22 from Chapel Hill, NC. Iliketodandiawithyou, has a bachelors’ degree in fine art and loves the creativity of the world. She is more moderate in her beliefs and is spiritual, but not particularly religious. Ani51 is more traditional. She also has a bachelors’ degree, but she, like the good Indian girl has one in medicine. She has plans to become a doctor and practices Hinduism. The rest of the information is aligned with the girl’s personalities, but the basic information is the same to prevent random bias. So, which kind of girl is preferred by those Indian lovers: the traditional girl or the rebellious crazy American?

Throughout the week I obsessively checked each girl’s profile to see how many new prospective husbands were lining up.

Here are some of the most entertaining for iliketodandiawithou. “We will be relocating to Chennai after marriage, more details when we meet,” in addition to Chennaisweetboy’s kind, compromising demeanor he loves museums and “big temples”. Using “Nd” for and, “b” for be, “nt” for not, “bcoz” for because, and “plz” for please really showed me that kinny52_gill wanted to impress me with his writing skills. In his defense he did say “I don’t get much time to write…”. Thank God. Rajiv2330′s pictures reminded me of a wanna be badass bollywood star. You know sleeveless shirts, no smile, poses that make you want to vomit. Finally, abzdude, you would think the name says it all, but no, there is more. Abzdude’s preferred partner, “… should not be assertive…” and he said, ” I have no one to share my deep feeling and would like to share lots with my incoming partner.” Well, abzdude, my suggestion would be to go out and buy a blow up doll and talk to that.

Ani51 seemed to attract more professional, sometimes more normal types, sometimes not. At least five guys who said they were interested in ani51 spent the entire personality section on their job and education. Obviously it’s because they have no personality to focus on. Two of the profiles were made my hopeful parents wanting to marry their sons off to traditional Indian girls from good families (which is what they said in the profile). Then there are the questionable prospective husbands. Krishmba asks, “I m waiting for you my sweet innocent life partner. May I have the opportunity to meet…..?” No. Next BornRomantic and his skewed vision of gender, “I do enjoy doing regular boy things like shopping, dining, dressing up for a night out on the town, and of course watching sappy hindi flicks…” I honestly have no idea if he’s being serious. Putting these guys aside, ani51 did have about five normal prospective husbands, which gave me some signs of hope for those nice Indian girls on Shaadi who weren’t writing articles.

So after a week, iliketodandiawithyou had 4 interests and 40 profile views. Ani51 had 27 interests and 116 profile views. Shocking, I know. So, what is my final conclusion? Well, if you aren’t a simple, traditional, professional, kind, obedient girl from a good respected family, Shaadi is not the place for you.

Alternative ending,

“you’re never getting married. Sorry.”